I’ve had my times over the years, sure, of wallowing in self-pity a bit about my current state of affairs and what it all means and where I’m going. BUT! Then I realize and remember that the only way to fix that STARTS WITH ME! You must create your destiny.
Blame the economy. Blame your boss. Blame the Yelpers and the Reddits.
Or don’t. Because it won’t get you anywhere. Even if it is the other guy’s fault. Even if you were born into the shittiest of circumstances. Because humans are resilient. We were born to rise above. Plenty of people face all sorts of trials and tribulations and adversity all of the time and rise above it. Just like at these people. Or these kids. Or this girl. Or this guy. You are no different.
Happiness belongs to those who claim it. Those who create it. Those who mold and shape it, and make it out of nothing. And attitude is everything.
Yes, it all sounds cliche. But cliches become that because of some inherent truth in them. You want to create your destiny? You gotta do the work. Here are a few ideas on how to start.
This is first, because it’s the most important one. YOU HAVE VALUE. And you must be in charge of your life. The world is not out to get you, even if it may seem like it sometimes. This list detailing the secrets of the millionaire mind? Yeah, take note of the first point on the list:
Rich people believe: “I create my life.” Poor people believe: “Life happens to me.”
It’s true, and it’s oh-so important. And that’s not just about being rich monetarily speaking either. It’s about being rich in happiness, rich in your soul. If you want to wallow in your misery, go right ahead. Just know that you CHOSE to live a sad and miserable life.
If other people don’t know what your goals are, they can’t help you get there. And if YOU don’t know what your goals are… well, how can you make them happen?
There are no hard and fast rules – you’re allowed to change your goals. I know that I’ve changed mine over the years. But you must re-evaluate your goals on a regular basis and make sure that they are in line with your destiny. You must write down your goals where you can see them every day, and you must tell others what they are.
Your goals don’t all have to be big and lofty, either. Maybe it’s as simple as wanting to take a trip to the beach in the next year. And maybe you have a friend whose family just happens to have a beach house that you could stay in for cheap. But maybe you’ll never know about that beach house unless you mention it out loud.
Creating your own destiny doesn’t mean working so hard that you miss out on life and all the good stuff. It means prioritizing how you spend your time AND your money. If you desire less stuff, you won’t have to work so hard to pay for things you can’t afford to fill an empty void in your heart.
I read Your Money or Your Life in my early 20s and it had a big impact on me. Sure, I have plenty of things that I’ll spend a little extra for, but I make sure first that my bills are paid, that I have some money set aside for a rainy day (or a car wreck or any number of emergency scenarios), and THEN I treat myself. And I try to treat myself to things that add long-lasting value to my life, not just instant gratification that I’ll regret later.
No. Seriously. Get off your ass. MOVE. Go for a walk, get some exercise. Dance. Do SOMETHING, damn it. Exercise sparks the mind as well as energizes your body. Drawing a blank? Check out my post on How To Stay Healthy: 5 Easy Tips.
Create an online resume or portfolio. Make a website of all of your accomplishments and awesomeness. Create a Linked In profile if that’s what people in your desired industry are using to connect with each other. Think about it – a traditional resume is usually just a page or two. Is that enough room to contain all of your greatness?? OF COURSE NOT! Register your name as a domain name, and create a professional website to direct potential employers, clients and other awesome people to discover all that you can do.
Google search yourself. Is everything that’s out there good and truthful and what you want people to perceive about you? If not, start fixing it. Is everything on your Facebook and social media sites something you would want a potential employer or client to see? If not, change it.
Check out these links for more ideas:
In this day and age, it’s borderline stupidity and ignorance to think you can get by in life with just one source of income that could bottom out or be destroyed in the blink of an eye. How many people do you know in the last few years that have been laid off, or fired, or otherwise lost their jobs?
I tend to surround myself with other people who are like me. A lot of self-starters, go-getters and entrepreneurs. People who have all sorts of ways of earning a living. People who have day jobs, but maybe do some freelance writing on the side. And not just because it makes them extra money. But also because it gives their lives meaning. It brings them joy to do what they love.
There are as many ways to create more income streams as there are types of people. Here are just a few ideas on ways to add more earning to your life:
You don’t have to spend a million to look like a million bucks. But people WILL judge you, like it or not, by your appearance. That’s not to say that how you look or dress should fit into some fashion magazine ideal or corporate culture. I’m a girl with a mohawk and tattoos for goodness sake! BUT the way I dress and look lines up with my personal and professional goals. If I wanted to work in a law-firm? Yeah, I’m guessing I’d have to lose the ‘hawk.
That said – not all people’s opinions matter. I mean, of course they matter in the biggest sense of the word. But not everyone’s opinion matters to your life and your particular circumstances. You have to find YOUR people. Your tribe. The people who will support and help and inspire you. The people who you can do the same for in return.
Want to get help from other people? You can’t be a spiritual vampire. You can’t expect to suck up help and emotional energy and not put something good back into the universe and have it keep on working. It won’t.
Just like lucky people create their own luck, people who give more end up receiving more, because they open themselves up to it more than people who close themselves off from the world. Are you a go-giver, or just a taker expecting for happiness to land in your lap?
Speaking of emotional energy – that defeatist attitude? Yeah, people pick up on that. So if you want to create an awesome life, you have to BELIEVE YOU ARE AWESOME. (Because you are.)
Do you have so-called “friends” who are always putting you down? Kick ’em to the curb. Cause they were never really your friend. Do you get sucked into sadness on a daily basis by reading the news of the world? Minimize you media intake, and focus on the positive change that is happening around the world on a daily basis instead. Or better yet – focus on specific actions YOU can take to make the world a better place. Actions speak louder than words.
Next to a positive attitude, this is maybe the biggest one of all. I’ve tried to do this all along. While you certainly can’t eliminate regret from your life, you can live with intention and try to make choices that will help you to minimize any future regrets. I never want to say “I’m too old for that.” Or “I wish I had done that while I had the chance.”
Part of minimizing regrets? Doing the stuff that makes you a little afraid, but that you really want to do anyway. Like skydiving. That’s me, on my 25th birthday. Totally worth every second. You only live once, you know!
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— Mallory Whitfield (@MissMalaprop) October 16, 2015
Mallory Whitfield created MissMalaprop.com in 2006 as a place to share her favorite cool stuff, handmade products and indie finds. Throughout her journey as a creative entrepreneur, Mallory has worn many hats, including blogger, visual artist, upcycled clothing creator, performance artist, jewelry designer, craft show vendor, creative strategist, speaker, teacher and consultant to other small business owners. By day, she specializes in SEO, content marketing and social media strategy as Content Analyst at FSC Interactive, a leading digital marketing agency in New Orleans.